How I Met The Doctor

Waking up, becoming aware of consciousness, staring into the abyss-like black of your eyelids, agitation filling your mind as your alarm seemingly screams in your face. Opening your eyes, ripping the blankets off and slamming the OFF button on the clock. Probably the worst part of the day; especially when you didn’t get much sleep.

I hate mornings; like Anakin Skywalker hates sand. Most likely more. But I had a feeling. A feeling that today would be different. What a feeling………

Standing next to the bus stop, with an eerie feeling, I waited. The bus was late. When it finally arrived, I began to step in. But, I found myself being hit from the side. As I fell, I caught glimpse of a grotesque beast. Lying on the ground in horror, I heard someone yell, “OI! You ugly thing!” Both the beast and I looked at a strange man wearing a bow-tie and standing next to a blue box (It was an odd box. The kind you would see in very old picture. As big as a British telephone stand. But it wasn’t supposed to be next to that bus stop.) with the words “POLICE PUBLIC CALL BOX” on it.

The man was holding an odd-looking device that started making a high-pitched buzzing, almost sonic-sounding, noise. I looked at the beast again and it began distorting, like a hologram shorting out. The man ran over and commenced gazing at the beast while circling it and mumbling. It was frozen, not even close to moving. The man instructed the bus driver to move on (more like flailing his hand in the general direction of away), then told me to stand by his blue box.

He fidgeted with his little invention again and it went on with it’s buzzing. Only a few seconds past before the beast disappeared and all that was left was a small rat. The man picked the rat up with three fingers and stared at it while trotting to his box. “Terrifying things come in small packages” he said, calmly. “I’m the Doctor. Follow me.” ‘The Doctor, huh?’ I thought, complying to his orders.

As we stepped into the Doctor’s blue box, which I had expected to be cramped, something was very wrong. I had to take a few steps back and look out at the small, or big, police box. I walked back in and exclaimed, “It’s bigger on the inside!” The Doctor just smiled and said his box is called “the TARDIS, which stands for Time and Relative Dimension in Space”. She bit him once, he said it happened on an alien planet when the TARDIS stole someone named Idris’ body. I don’t know why that was significant, but was to him.

He explained that he is a Timelord from the planet Gallifrey and that he saves Earth all the time but nobody really ever knows. “So, what’s your name, blondie?” the Doctor inquired. “My name is Kimmie, Kimmie Zucker. And you, you are a very strange man, Doctor.” I replied. “Kimmie, Kim, very nice name, Kimmie. Ooooh! Let’s go on an adventure, Kimmie!” he said, excitedly.

The Doctor began flipping switches and toggling toggles. “Should we go to… no. OOH! Nah. What about… AH! Yes!” he was talking to himself. ‘It’s like he used to have someone with him, but they left.’ I thought, ‘I wonder why this crazy man is all alone.’ The TARDIS started making sort of VWORB-WRAANFSH noise. Very odd. Almost as odd as the Doctor…

So many questions

Maybe a minute had passed, I’m not sure, I was wandering around that strange room for a while, then I heard a noise like we had just hit the ground gracefully, yet violently. I looked over to the Doctor, who was smiling proudly. “Go look outside. Guess where and when we are.” he told me. “Okay?” I said, walking over to the doors, “Did you just kidnap me?” “No! Maybe. Yes, but in a friendly way. I’ll get you home safe. Don’t worry. Where and when are we, Kimmie. You seem a smart enough girl to figure that out.” I took a step out and looked around. “It looks like we haven’t moved. But, also, like we’ve been sitting here for years. Maybe hundreds of years.” I walked back inside and closed the door. “Other than that, it’s exactly the same.”

“Yes, very good. It is one hundred thirty-four years from the time we left.” The Doctor said. “Why that many years? Is something important going to happen? Wait… Shouldn’t I be dead?” “I picked a random time. I don’t know. And you’re a time traveler now. So, no. You shouldn’t be dead. Why would even think that? Do you not watch science fiction? I thought that was still popular in 2019.” I sat on the railing next to the doors. I thought for a second or two. I started smiling wildly. “Well, it’s not supposed to be real. Aliens and time travel and things like that. I guess I’m not supposed to tell anyone about this, am I? And if I do I should make it look like I’ve gone mental, right? That’ll work. Everybody thinks I’m mental anyway.” I walk over to him and grabbed him by the shoulders. “If we go walk outside, will I see an alien? And if I don’t, can we go somewhere I will see an alien?” The Doctor slapped my arms and grabbed my shoulders like I did to him and said, “Let’s go to that somewhere else now. Although, you’re staring at an alien already.” And he began flipping switches and toggling toggles again.

“So long and goodnight, 2153 Earth. Your memory will carry on.” I said, referencing two of my favorite songs. Both being played so much, by me, my mother grew tired of them. And I turned away from the doors, to look at the Doctor, who seemed quite confused. “Why did you say that?” He asked, as if he was a young child. A full grown man, looking in his thirties, questioning my motives like a kid. “Um… It was reference to some music I like. Ah… Helena and Welcome To The Black Parade. I wouldn’t expect you to listen to any music though. You don’t seem to have a way to.” That must have been enough for him. He seemed satisfied. “I have ways of doing lots of things. I just don’t use them often. Who is the music by? I might be able to find it. Also! What time? That might be important, too.” So, I told him. “My Chemical Romance. 2001 through 2013.” I heard that first note. It was Welcome To The Black Parade. That G note. I prepared. “When I was. A young boy. My father. Took me into the city. To see a marching band…” By the time the song was over, the Doctor was just standing there, shocked and amazed. It was the same reaction I got from everyone else. That’s why they all thought I was mental. Because I am.

“You were so quiet. But, then… should I put another on? Or do you want to see real aliens?” I ran over to the doors. The Doctor trotted up to me, with that small device he used earlier in hand. I couldn’t resist asking what it was. He told me it was a “sonic screwdriver”. It didn’t look like a screwdriver to me, whatever. We stepped outside and first this I saw was a

thing that looked like a donkey with golden fur, like a lion, red eyes, as if it was possessed, and a short tail, basically a nub. Then, I heard a loud, powerful voice. When I saw who the voice came from, I was very surprised. The voice came from a small, pure white man. I believe he was negotiating for part of some kind with a lanky woman. This woman seemed a slippery skammer; what I mean is, she looked like she would sell a defective product to her own mother if it meant she could get even a small profit.

I had expected to hear many foreign languages. But, all I heard was English. “I’m a bit… um… well… disappointed.” I’m still not sure why I hesitated. “I was hoping for more alien languages. Why are they all speaking English?” He took on a very calm tone, still loud enough for me to hear. “That’s the TARDIS translator. The TARDIS made it so you hear English. They’re actually speaking in their alien languages.” “Wait. Does that mean the TARDIS is in my head?” I was panicking illogically. “Yes. The TARDIS is in your head. But, she won’t alter anything.” My mind was racing. I don’t remember all the things I thought then.

I do remember deciding to hug the Doctor; the man that had just changed my life. But, when I did, I noticed something else that didn’t seem right. His heartbeat. “Doctor? Do you have two hearts?” He smiled down at me. “Yes, I do. You must have very good ears.” “Does that mean if one stops the other will keep you alive?” That may have been a bit disturbing to some and a little intrusive, but I was curious. “I have actually had that happen to me before. And here I am.” He put his hand on my shoulder and asked, “So, what do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. Everything is so odd here.” I relied, because honestly I had no idea what to do; I’m still like that, even if I’m at my longtime friends house and I know exactly where everything should be. I looked up into the sky and a tear ran down my face. “Was that a star falling?” I inquired. “Came a time when every starfall brought you to tears again.” I whispered to myself. “Yes, I believe it was. Curious. That’s not normal for this planet. Are you okay?”  “No! I’m not okay. I’m on an alien planet with an alien man with two hearts that looks like a human and sounds like a Brit! This has been a very odd day! I’m supposed to be at school! I’m supposed to on my own planet in my own time! And I have depression! Everything I just said… everything I just said automatically makes me NOT OKAY!” I realized that I had just shouted at the Doctor. In a public place. He looked so stunned and hurt. That scared me. I felt so guilty. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.”

He looked back at me a gave a small smirk. “I’ll carry on.” He, the Doctor, had made a reference. Maybe even a joke. “That was beautiful. Thanks for that. I wish I was as forgiving as you are.” In that moment, I questioned why I trusted this strange man when I trust no one. I trusted him enough to run away with him because he promised aliens? Because he promised I would get home safely? Because he had a TARDIS? Because he saved me? Because of his kind smile and hilarious personality? Why? In the words of song, “Opening up means trusting others and that’s just too much I don’t want to bother”. I barely trusted my friends and family enough to tell them my true mental state. And yet I felt secure enough to practically scream it at the Doctor. That’s another reason they all thought I was mental; they didn’t know why I was the way I was and probably still am. “Do you know if there’s any food I can have? If I come home hungry my mom will blame the school for child abuse.”

“I think I see something over there.” said the Doctor, grabbing my wrist and dragging me along with him. “It looks like blue apple.” I stated about the apparently edible thing the Doctor had handed me. “I’m not trying to be disrespectful. It just looks really weird.” It felt like a peach, looked like an apple, but the color wasn’t right and it smelled like a pineapple. “Try it. They’re excellent.” I bit into it and it tasted like vanilla cake. Again, it felt like a peach, looked like a blue apple, smelled like a pineapple, and tasted like a vanilla cake. All so familiar, yet so alien just because of how it was all put together.

I felt like going home and forgetting what had happened, but I wanted to explore and remember. I was so confused. I felt like somebody stole my car radio, so I just sat in silence. All my friends are heathens, but the Doctor seemed nice. So I took my time on my ride.

*  *  *

Sorry, for all the references, but it’s who I am. And this is my story. And if you don’t like it… “I could not care at all!” – Welcome to the Black Parade, My Chemical Romance. And yes, I’ll carry on with the quotes. As I said; I. Don’t. Care. I have high, high hopes that you like them. ‘Cause they’re probably only going to get worse. And if you get my obscure jokes and are okay with them, even when I don’t point them out, I like you. Anyways…

*  *  *

“That thing, what is it called?” I pointed at the fruit I just ate. “Fezzin, little girl.” The alien said rudely, like I should know already, what that fruit was called. “Oh, thank you.” I decided to turn my head, his cold, black gaze felt as if he was staring into my soul. What I noticed looking the other way was strangely human and a bit exciting. “Is that a book stand? I love books! I don’t love reading them as much as I like having them and looking at them, though.” I said, subtly pointing at where I was looking.

The books

The Doctor clutched my hand and dragged my with him. He put me near the shelf and placed my hand on it. “I guess you just have to find out.” I grabbed a book and opened it. Dust floated in the air from the ancient papers being moved. “Scuse me, miz,” said a tall muscular man, “Are ya havin’ the ability of readin’ that book there?” I got a bit confused. “Well, yes. Why do you ask?” The man looked at me like I was some kind of ghoul. “I can’t read that. The TARDIS isn’t translating it.” The Doctor said, with a confused face. “‘The end is coming soon. The end of my sad world. Maybe a few will survive. All others will surely die.’ It’s a diary entry. I think a teenage girl must’ve written it.” “Are ya a… human?” the man asked, but he did so as if it was highly illegal, leaning in when he said “human”. “Yes, I am.” I replied, using the same mannerisms he did.

“I’m Golliam. Com wit me.” he said, putting a few books under his arm. “What did you say your name is?” I asked. “Gol-liam. Golliam. Why is that so hard fo everyone?” he replied.